I love going through random, old and forgotten boxes when I find them tucked away in the corners of my home. I find useful tools and items I forgot that I owned, but most importantly I find souvenirs. It's funny how the smallest item can reopen your mind to a memory you had almost forgotten. However, some souvenirs are more important than others. There are the little nicknacks that can be placed right back in that box once you've enjoyed a memory for a moment, but then there are the seemingly small things that are actually long lost, prized possessions. These are the tokens that you ache and long for if you can't find them.
For the past year, I've racked my brain to find two misplaced mementos: the video footage of my daughter's first year of life and a fat, green binder of compiled sheet music I kept since I was 16 years old. It's weird how in misplacing these items I feel that I've misplaced a part of myself. The binder of sheet music (half of which has spilled coffee stains) is really a throwback to my younger, more lively days. However, I've cried and cried over the video footage and even thinking about it now gives me a heartache! That is completely irreplaceable ... something you never get back.
I got up tonight to get a drink of water and amongst my random, sleepy thoughts I started thinking about Hana's long lost home video and God struck me with an even deeper thought: "This is how I feel about my children". Our Father aches for time lost with us. He aches for us to use our gifts and passions for His glory and He aches when we live outside His blessings. He misses us when we forget about Him. It reminds me of the book of Zephaniah where the prophet was calling out Israel to return to God. In chapter three, he was imploring them to repent and turn their praise to the Lord and in verse 17 he states:
The Lord your God is with you,
He takes great delight in you;
in His love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.
The Lord sings over us, He delights in us! I have that picture in my mind when I feel his blessings pour over me. When I walk hand in hand with my toddling little girl, I think of how much He loves us to give us these small but powerful moments. When we view our lives inside His blessing, it is absolutely life changing! When we begin to live under that light, the light of His Spirit, it changes the way we exert our powers towards the gifts He's given us. Paintings become more brilliant. Music becomes more soulful. Writing becomes more passionate. Life becomes more powerful!
As I started writing this post I googled the word souvenir to make sure I was spelling it correctly. (I always question myself when I spell out French words.) Some of the words I saw pop-up in association with souvenir were memento, keepsake, token of remembrance, and prize. When I think of a memento I think of a trinkety keychain that says "Destin, Florida", but when I think of a prize I think of something far more important. A prize is something we work very hard for, cherish, and miss when we misplace it. But for our Lord, His prize was something He gave His life for, delights in and aches for when He can't be near it.
At the very end of the Book of Zephaniah, he writes a promise from God, "At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before their very eyes". I took a while away from God and kept Him at arms length, but returning to Him feels just like this promise. He has gathered me up, carried me back into His presence and is restoring the lost time we had together. Thank you Lord for being so true to Your promises in despite of the time I've taken away from You! Thank you for restoring my passions and vision. Thank you for being so good and so true.
