The Perfect Night Cap ... for a toddler

My toddler can't get to sleep at night without her evening dose of milk and a "show-show" (aka. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse).  So when we ran out of 2% milk right before dinner, I knew I had to find a good alternative to suffice her milk addiction.  I scoured the cupboards and found a box of unopened powdered milk.  Now, we all know that powdered milk tastes like it was evaporated inside the udder, which is why I decided to mask the tasted with a frozen banana, dash of cinnamon and stevia.  It's not as thick and sugary as a banana milkshake, but a toddler will never know the difference!

Monkey Milk Night Cap

In a blender mix:

1 cup water

1/3 cup powdered milk

1 frozen banana (unfrozen would work fine too)

1 dash of ground cinnamon

4 drops of liquid stevia sweetener

French country brunch on a budget

Surprisingly, a French brunch is easier, healthier and cheaper to create than you might think ... and can quickly become a weekend favorite for your family.  About a year ago, a friend of mine introduced me to crêpes.  Versatile and simple, crêpes are a great alternative to the run of the mill pancakes or waffles.  Although my first few attempts at making a crêpe weren't very successful, I've finally found my niche and now enjoy how easy and affordable they are to make!  

Here are a few things you need to know about crêpes:

1)  They really only require four ingredients: flour, milk, eggs and butter

2)  They aren't just for breakfast ... savory crêpes are just as good as sweet ones!  Take some inspiration from the Atlanta-based crêpe specialty restaurant, Crêpe Revolution

3)  Although whole eggs are traditionally listed as an ingredient, you can also make them with just the fluffy whites (at least, to my taste!)

4)  Don't let pictures fool you - there is no perfect crêpe!  

5)  Chemistry is truly what achieves this French delicacy ... so your recipe is everything!

Have a country, French breakfast with your family or girlfriends this weekend!  And here are some ideas to set the table:

Abbey's Perfect Crêpe

makes 10-12 medium size crêpes

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups 2% or whole milk

6 tbsp melted butter (or about 4 tbsp canola oil)

2 dashes of salt

2 tbsp sugar (optional)

8 eggs, whites beaten until foamy (tip: save the yokes and cook separately for added protein)

In a medium size mixing bowl, combine the flour, salt and sugar.  Stir in the milk and melted butter or oil.  In a separate bowl, separate the egg whites from the yolks.  With a fork or small whisk, rapidly whisk the egg whites for about a minute ... you'll know they are ready when they begin to feel like a liquid (rather than separated and lumpy) and a thick foam will settle on the surface.  With a spatula, fold the foamy egg whites into the main bowl with the flour, milk, and butter mixture.  I gently fold it in, letting the foamy egg whites achieve a light, airy mixture.  Although there are really nice, expensive crêpe pans, I just use a rounded edge non-stick pan over medium-low heat.  Cook the crêpe almost as you would a pancake, and remember that crêpes are supposed to be nearly paper thin, light and a little stretchy.  Once cooked, glaze with yogurt, sprinkle with fresh cut fruit, roll, and serve! (For a really good visual tutorial, check out the Summer6676 video on Youtube)

Lemon & Honey Yogurt

Mix the following ingredients to make a zesty yogurt topping for your crêpes

2 - 7 oz containers of Fage 2% Greek Yogurt

Zest from two lemons

2 tbsp fresh lemon juice

4 tbsp honey

Strawberry Iced Tea

2 Celestial Seasonings strawberry herbal tea bags 

2 cups boiling water

4 tbsp honey

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

4 cups ice

Bring water to a boil and add tea bags.  Use tea package instructions to achieve a strong brew of tea.  Add tea brew, honey and lemon to a half gallon pitcher and stir.  Add ice and then fill with cold water about an inch from the brim.  Serve over ice and with a sprig of mint for garnish.

Note to Reader: This recipe is one that I've created to my taste and preference.  For a more traditional crêpe, go to the Food Network website ... Alton Brown has a really good crepe recipe and a great tutorial on Youtube.

My growing love for coconut ...

Coconut can be an acquired taste, but most of the time you either love it or you hate it.  I have to admit that my taste for coconut has matured along with me throughout the years.  From about three years old until middle school, I always associated the commercially reproduced smell of coconut with sunscreen ... that is, until I just stopped wearing sunscreen altogether (a poor decision that I truly regret).  Post middle school and sunscreen era, I would periodically buy a coconut scented body spray, use it for a few weeks, and then would inevitably toss it aside for a more multi-dimensional fragrance.  The common freezer item, shredded coconut, was just as easily tossed aside ... you could throw it into muffins, candy and cakes or you could skip it completely with no loss!  It wasn't until I was "of age" that coconut took on a new meaning for me in the form of the piña colada, but that ended when I learned that the fun, little cocktail was costing me almost 650 calories a pop ... which was more than half a day's calorie intake for me at that point.  All that time, I never realized was that the water was the good stuff!

Now nearing my thirtieth birthday, I am pumped when I see coconut water on sale at Target!  As a confession, I am just short of hoarding coconut water when I find a good sale ... and for good reason!  Coconut water is high in potassium, antioxidants and minerals.  According to Dr Oz, coconut water can help reduce high blood pressure and can be used to help combat inflammation.  Not to mention, coconut water contains cytokinin, a plant hormone that assists with cell growth and some believe to be an untapped fountain of youth.

Some of my favorite coconut water infused drinks are Zico, SoBe's Lifewater Pacific Coconut, and LaCroix Coconut Sparkling Water.  100% pure coconut water, Zico contains the most coconut water out of the three and is marketed as a sports drink.  SoBe is definitely a treat because it has the most flavor and contains 20 grams of sugar in each bottle.  LaCroix is more of a sipper.  Although it is low calorie, it can also be a little low on flavor ... but it puts some extra zing in a fruit smoothie.  Try my recipe out!  With added antioxidants from the cocoa powder and strawberries, the 60 calories, 12 carbs, 1 gram of fat and 2 grams of protein per serving make a really healthy snack or treat!

Strawberry Coconut Smoothie

8 oz LaCroix Natural Coconut Sparkling Water (about 3/4 a can)

1 cup fresh or frozen strawberries

3-4 tbsp Hershey's Cocoa Special Dark Powder (or to taste)

2 packets Purevia Stevia

6-8 ice cubes

Toss everything in a blender, blend it, add some ice, and blend a little bit more.  Should serve two with a little bit leftover.  

The Crooked Places

Returning from a weekend-long women's retreat, I am finding myself in the midst of mixed emotions.  On one hand, I am thankful to be home with my husband, baby and creature comforts, but I am almost mourning the close of such a special time.  As I parted with the group of ladies I only get a chance to see once a year, I am experiencing the same emotions I felt as a kid when we would take visiting family to the airport.  It never gets easy to drive away from these times of sweet fellowship!  But each year, I am able to glean such amazing memories and lessons from the time spent with my friends, and every time the Lord uses this retreat to help me overcome challenges within my heart.

We are all faced with challenges, but some challenges are more constant than others.  The challenge of self-image is one of the greatest stumbling blocks for women.  It can distance us from friends, family, husbands, and even strangers.  Because of the wreckless nature of insecurity mixed with guilt, the topic is always present at our weekend retreats.  As a woman, I struggle with this as much or even more than any other women.  I have scoured through self-help books trying to find the anecdote to insecurity.  Amidst moments of self-image induced anxiety, I even remind myself of a friend's definition of insecurity, who calls it "pride upside down."  Regardless of the spiritual knowledge and tools I have to fight off my self-image issues, I have found nothing strong enough to break me from it's wretched pattern ... until this weekend.

The Lord always teaches me through imagery and pictures, and He gave me such a pure image of His power over insecurity through a seemingly small moment during the retreat.  During an evening message by a sweet friend, she quoted Isaiah 45:2a, "I will go before you and make the crooked places straight."  Just moments before, I had journaled in my notebook and asked the Lord to give me power over my feelings of bitterness, resentment and pride regarding my appearance.  When she read this verse in the context of the crooked places within our hearts, I felt the humbling truth penetrate my soul.  

All the years of anxiety and hostility in my heart surfaced to the top and I found myself dealing with all of it right then and there.  As the worship team began to softly play, I cried quietly to myself.  Amidst my emotional road to truth, I felt a hand softly rub my back just like my mother would have in that very moment.  Sitting next to me was, Carlene, a woman I had just met before the message.  Judging by first impression, she looked to be in her late 50's, grandmotherly, conservative and sweet, wearing a matching knit outfit with a blue flower print.  However, the one thing that threw me off were the tattoos on her left-hand fingers.  Although I didn't judge or even give it two thoughts, I definitely didn't anticipate her to reach out to me in such a moment.

As I crumbled even more due to her kind gesture, she leaned over and whispered to me, "If there's something you're hurting about, I can pray for you."  I told her my struggle with anger and resentment, explaining how I deal with it daily as it churns and builds inside me.  As an inside note, my already existing issues with bitterness seem to be exacerbated by insecurities regarding weight gain and a destructive self-image.  However, my issues seemed small as she began explaining to me her own road out of deeply seeded bitterness and anger.  

Carlene shared with me her sweet story of overcoming a lifestyle of substance abuse, destructive relationships and a painful upbringing.  She told me that Jesus had freed her from so many things that should have killed her.  As she shared this with me, tears of joy ran down her face.  While I listened to her story, I noticed that she tended to keep her left hand hidden beneath the table, but at one point she brought it up, resting it on the table.  When she did, I noticed that whatever message had been initially inked across her fingers had been blotted out by more ink and was unreadable.  I started to think about what those blots of ink meant to her - memories of pain, guilt, resent, bitterness, or anger - and how she was faced with constantly carrying the reminder of her past upon her skin.  So moved by her burden and courage in carrying it, I reached up and placed my hand over her ink covered fingers.  When she saw what I had done, she began to weep, humbled and relieved to have someone embrace her "flaws."

We all carry reminders of painful wounds, either on our shell or in the dark, crooked places within our hearts.  What we fail to realize is that the Lord embraces, fills and covers all of these wounds!  He loves us with an unfailing love and He sees us as whiter than snow.  I keep bringing up the image of embracing Carlene's hand when I think about my own flaws and imperfections.  Then, I think of the Lord covering them as He so lovingly does with His nail pierced hands.  Thank you, Jesus, for the sacrifice you made, the unfailing love you give to me, and the way you daily draw me closer to your heart!

Confession of an Involuntary Spicer

For reasons often beyond my control, I keep accidentally spicing my food with the wrong seasonings!  First of all, I'm a cheapskate and have failed to find a spice rack that suits my taste and budget.  Consequently, if you spend any time in my kitchen you can't miss the eyesore of a spice shelf that sits above the stove ... it's completely atrocious, but it seems to work for me most of the time!  

Due to my lack of spice organization, I have stumbled upon some unlikely flavors while cooking under pressure (aka - hungry, cranky toddler and husband).  I'll admit that most of my involuntary spicings have caused my poor husband to dry heave; however, on the brighter side, I have discovered spice pairings that are out of this world, awesome!  I'm a glass is half full type of girl, so let's concentrate on the awesome involuntary spicing incidents:

1)  The "Nutmeg In Chicken Salad" Incident

In a late lunch, crying toddler tizzy, I grabbed for the paprika to finish off my chicken salad dish.  Unbeknownst to me, I had previously placed the identical bottles of paprika and nutmeg beside each other with the labels facing the wall.  I shook a pretty hefty sprinkling over my gourmet chicken salad before I took in the distinct aroma of pumpkin pie.  Let me tell you, this was a happy accident!  Try it and you'll never go back to paprika in your chicken salad!

2)  The "Cumin In Rice Pudding" Incident

I love using leftover rice to make pudding for breakfast.  Most of the time, I cook a few tablespoons of quinoa into my rice for added nutrients and protein, so our version of rice pudding for breakfast isn't exactly junk food!  Same situation this time: identical spice containers + haphazard shelf + labels facing the wall = involuntary spicing!  To my surprise, a dash of cumin along with cinnamon creates a pleasingly smoky flavored rice pudding.  Who would have thought?!   I'm just thankful that the dill container has no resemblance to the cinnamon container ... we would have had a much different result, by far!

Try out an unlikely spice pairing today!  It's oddly freeing to a by-the-book cook!  One of my favorite unlikely pairing is adding a pinch of cayenne pepper to chocolate.  Try making hot fudge sauce for ice cream and add a little zing with cayenne, or hot chocolate with a punch.  

Beside Quiet Waters

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters"

~ Psalm 23:2

The Lord creates moments of simplicity and peace for us because He understands our need for them.  He literally provides opportunities within our days that are meant to make us sit still and simply be. The 23rd Psalm always evokes a picture of complete peace in my mind.  When I read it, I can smell the aroma of grass and wildflowers and practically feel the cool, damp ground beneath me.  I close my eyes and imagine the faint bubbling of a brook as it flows across smooth stones and sand.  The Bible says that, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it." (Psalm 24:1)  Today, be reminded that the earth is the Lord's and that you are a beautiful part of His intricate and majestic design!

All-Natural Facial Exfoliants

Natural remedies are almost always the way to go when it comes to health, and I am finding this more true than ever regarding the condition of my skin.  With the springtime flowers in bloom and the smell of freshly cut grass, I want to align my winter-parched skin with nature all the more!  Here are a few remedies I've been adding to my skin regimen that are giving me a nature-kissed glow:

Play In The Mud!

www.livingclayco.com

I have been using pure powder clay to create a facial mask that is truly one with nature.  I find that drug store and even high end masks can become drying and counter-productive, so I like to use the simplest form to get the best results: 100% mud.  To find the right product, you will want to go online or to health food stores and look for "Calcium Bentonite Clay."  I am using Detox Clay Powder from Nature's Body Beautful, which is 100% calcium bentonite clay.  Just so you know, the slogan rings true, "So pure you can eat it!"  My grandparents actually use a teaspoon mixed with a glass of water to ease a sick stomach ... haven't tried that one yet, but it sure does ease the effects of my combination skin!

Salad Dressing Scrub

courtesy of buzzle.com

I've started doing the mud mask at the beginning of the week followed by a light, all-natural scrub mid-week.  Like I mentioned previously, I have combination skin, so it's dry in some areas and oily in others.  I also tend to get enlarged pores (they've become worse with age) and flaky skin in the oily areas.  Most scrubs are harsh, leaving me with an overly rosy look in all the wrong places, which is why I always fall back on a remedy that's tried and true: apple cider vinegar.  As most people, I hate the smell of vinegar; however, I put up with the smell to get the amazing result of glowing, even-toned, youthful skin.  All you need is a washcloth, two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, and hot water.

1)  Pour the vinegar into the middle of a folded washcloth

2)  Run the cloth under hot water (as hot as you can stand)

3)  Scrub your face all over for about one minute, concentrating on your t-zone and any other problematic areas

4)  Rinse with the coldest water you can stand ... done!

I would definitely recommend this step for acne-prone skin, but I would not recommend scrubbing infected areas.  Instead, I would dab blemished areas with the washcloth vinegar water mixture, so as not to break skin or irritate the area.  (In between applications, simply using hot and cold water can sometimes be better than using creams or washes, which can be abrasive to sensitive infected areas).  Apple cider vinegar is an anti-inflamatory and anti-bacterial remedy, which is great for acne-prone skin.  It is just as good for clear skin types, as it tones and conditions at the same time, leaving you with healthy, glowing skin for days following.  Pure, simple, inexpensive ... I love it!

Preparing Our Hearts for Easter

As a child, I loved reading the stories of the Bible.  Almost daily, I would pull out one of our ten, heavy, hard-bound volumes of Arthur Maxwell's The Bible Story collection.  The pages were thick and carried a distinctive musty smell.  The pictures always grabbed my imagination, conveying the emotion, atmosphere and purpose of the stories within each intricate image.  But, out of all the stories and pictures, the only one that drew me to tears was the story of Jesus on the cross.

In my childlike understanding of the story, I felt so sorry for Jesus and heartbroken because of the pain He endured.  However, my perception of the story ended there, and I was not able to fully understand Jesus, Easter, or the need for salvation until I was a teenager, independently studying the Bible for the first time.  Consequently, my concept of Easter became less about wearing a Spring dress and eating pineapple roasted ham because my heart was concentrated on celebrating the profound purpose of the cross.  From beginning to end, the Bible chronologizes the fall of man, the prophecies, life, death, and resurrection a Savior, and the ongoing call to salvation through Jesus Christ.  

Prophecy of a Savior

Within the first three chapters of the Bible in the Book of Genesis, the creation and fall of man takes place at the hands of Adam and Eve, creating a chasm between humans and God.  The rest of the Bible is a continuing story of God’s plan to offer restoration to the world through a chosen Savior.  In 2 Samuel 7:16, the prophet Nathan relays a message from God to King David, saying, “Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.”  God’s promise tells us that He was establishing a divinely royal bloodline through David.  Another of the many Old Testament prophecies of the Messiah, or “chosen one,” comes out of Isaiah:

Isaiah 53:3

But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

And by His stripes we are healed.

This verse and the context of this passage outline three very important things about the Savior.   It tells us that He would bear pain and death to pay the penalty of sin, and that He would be scorned, ridiculed and condemned in order to become Peace on Earth.  Most importantly, according to this prophecy and many others, His death would provide eternal life and fill the chasm between God and man.

Purpose of the Cross

The four New Testament Gospels tell the story of the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, a descendant of David.  Within these books, we find parallels and confirmation from Old Testament prophecies that Jesus was the Messiah, and the conclusion of each book tells the story of how Jesus was plotted against, arrested, beaten, chastised, condemned, and killed upon a cross.  However, this was not just the death of a man, but the death of God for man.  Even Jesus stated in Matthew 20:28, “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."  The purpose of the cross was not only for the Roman government and religious officials to execute Jesus as a penalty for claiming to be the Messiah, but it become an alter where God sacrificed His Son to pay for the sins of the world.  Amazingly, the cross, an instrument of torture and execution, has become something that means life to me.  When I look at the cross, I see the nails and bloodstains, but I also see a love offering and a victory that was won for me by God.  Symbolically, the figure of the cross extends vertically up to heaven and spreads horizontally out to the world, meeting at one point and one place in time.

Providence of Salvation

On Easter, while we remember the death of Jesus Christ, the true celebration is in His resurrection.  Because of His resurrection, Jesus overcame death and overcame the curse of death for the whole world.  Therefore, God has thrown us a lifeline through His Son, Jesus Christ, who is now the bridge that connects us back to God and back into eternal life.  In 1 John 5:5, the author states, "Who is it that overcomes the world?  Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."  When we chose to believe that Jesus is the Son of God, we accept Him as our Savior and our lifeline.  In words best quoted from Jesus himself, He states in the iconic Easter passage John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

Check out this article and others that I've published on Yahoo Voices

That's My King

This past week, my mom paraphrased a statement made by Winkie Pratney, saying, "People respond to the Light in three different ways. Some accept it while others live indifferently to it. However, many try to stomp it out."  If you watch this clip, my prayer is that your response will be the first of those three.  

Isaiah 53:5

But He was wounded for our transgressions,

He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,

And by His strips we are healed.

Hamanteschen Cookies

This is a picture of the fruits of my labor on Purim Thursday.  Cookies are just not one of my favorite things to make, so when I say "labor" it's oddly accurate!  I used the recipe posted earlier last week, but had to make some revisions.  Also, the altered version, which was supposed to render 36 cookies, turned out to be a smaller batch than I had anticipated.  I tweaked the recipe as follows to suit my taste:

3 large eggs

5/8 cup sugar (I'm just making it a rounded 1/2 cup)

2 tsp lemon zest

3/4 cup butter, melted

3 cups all-purpose flour

Strawberry Preserves

Guava Jelly

In a nutshell: 1) grease the cookie sheets, 2) Beat eggs, 3) Add sugar, lemon peel and melted butter, beating mixture until light and fluffy, 4) Add flour and mix well, 5) Cover and refrigerate for 1.5 hours, 6) Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees, 7) On a floured surface, roll dough to a 1/8-inch thickness, 8) Cut with a floured 3-inch round cookie cutter or cup, 9) Place an inch apart on cookie sheets, 10) Spoon a teaspoon of fruit filling onto each circle, alternating flavors, 11) Moisten edges of dough circles with water, 12) Folding 3 sides in, shape into triangles and pinch corners to seal, 13) Bake for 8-12 minutes or until edges are light golden brown, 14) Remove, cool, enjoy!

Purim: Morbid Cookies and a Reminder of God's Faithfulness

Although I grew up in a gentile, Christian home, I have always been intrigued by the Jewish feasts, festivals and traditions.  In the 1980's, one of the first video tapes my family ever owned was of The Fiddler On The Roof.  I practically wore holes through the film tape, as I watched it at least twice a week.  While the song and dance prone Tevye may not have been the best representation of Jewish tradition, watching his wife in the film lead the Shabbat Prayer was the closest connection I had to a Siddur. However, as I've grown older, I am finding that the heart of reverence which is poured out during these Jewish observances is just as meaningful to me as a Christian.  One particular Jewish custom that is often overlooked by Christians is Purim.

Purim is coming up this year on March 8th, which is just a few days away.  There are practical and fun ways to observe the festival, but there are also more introspective ways to observe its significance and symbolism.   Purim is the Jewish observance of the story of Esther.  While some scholars view this book as simply an excerpt of history to bridge the 400 Silent Years, I see so much significance within the parallels and symbols of God's faithfulness and unfailing love.  

image property of US government

When I read stories from the Bible, I love to read between the lines into the context and ramifications of the story.  Honestly, I hadn't read the full Book of Esther since Bible College, so it was good to look at it with refreshed perspective.  First of all, I find it interesting that Xerxes "ruled over 127 provinces stretching from India to Cush," as mentioned in the first chapter of Esther and in the first verse.  Right off the bat, the writer wants you to know that King Xerxes ruled over basically all of ancient Persia, which currently consists of Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Israel, Lebanon, and Yemen.  In fact, his throne sat in what is now the city of Shush in Iran.  This fact alone sets the stage for the ensuing  irony in the story.

attribution: Forest & Kim Starr

After Queen Vashti displeased the king, he vanquished her and sought to replace her with a commoner.  This is where Esther enters the picture.  In Esther 2:7, we find out that her Hebrew name is Hadassah, meaning myrtle.  In Jewish tradition, the Feast of Tabernacles uses the flowering branches of myrtle to represent "those who have good deeds to their credit despite not having knowledge and study of the Torah."  The fragrant flower also represents the Garden of Eden (BhM II: 52; Sefer ha-Hezyonot 17). It's really amazing how strongly the parallel between Esther and Eve is displayed in this story.  Symbolically, we witness the character of Eve defeating death by the deliverance of a King.  Beautiful!

The most famous quote throughout this whole book is undoubtedly Esther 4:14, where Mordecai appeals to Esther, his niece, a Jew, and the queen:

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this." 

Essentially, Esther would have to sacrifice her own life in order to ensure the salvation of her people.  My NIV Study Bible commentary states that this verse outlines "the relationship between divine sovereignty and human responsibility."  This relationship between divine sovereignty and human responsibility is seen similarly in the Bible as Jesus prepares himself to take on the cross.  As He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you.  Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will."  Peter alludes to God's sovereignty and Jesus act of sacrifice in Acts 2:23-24, saying, "Him, being delivered by the determined purpose and foreknowledge of God ... whom God raised up, having loosed the pains of death, because it was not possible that He should be held by it."

I find it so beautiful that Purim, a celebration of God's deliverance and faithfulness, would prepare us for the Passover and Resurrection Sunday.  The story of Esther is not just a bridge in Biblical history, it a vital piece within the story of God's salvation and redemption of His creation.  We are loved and desired by God, our Creator and Redeemer.

Now, Let's Make Haman's Ears!

If you skim through my food articles, you will probably noticed I'm big on savory cooking and not so big on making desserts.  While I love sweets, I dislike the preparation steps, mess and hassle. However, Hamantaschen Cookies look simple enough that even I should enjoy making them.  Hamantaschen translates from the Yiddish as "ears of Haman," but I've also seen the cookies called "Haman's Hat."  I found a recipe on Food.com which I'll be using to bake my Haman's Ears (yum?) this Thursday, so be sure to check back for pictures.  I've altered the measurements in order to only make 36 cookies: 

3 large eggs

5/8 cup sugar (I'm just making it a rounded 1/2 cup)

1 1/2 tsp orange zest

3/4 cup butter, melted

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 (9 oz) can poppy seed filling (substitute with prune or apricot filling)

In a nutshell: 1) grease the cookie sheets, 2) Beat eggs, 3) Add sugar, orange peel and melted butter, beating mixture until light and fluffy, 4) Add flour and mix well, 5) Cover and refrigerate for 1.5 hours, 6) Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees, 7) On a floured surface, roll dough to a 1/4-inch thickness, 8) Cut with a floured 3-inch round cookie cutter or cup, 9) Place an inch apart on cookie sheets, 10) Spoon a teaspoon of filling onto each circle, 11) Moisten edges of dough circles with water, 12) Folding 3 sides in, shape into triangles and pinch corners to seal, 13) Bake for 8-12 minutes or until edges are light golden brown, 14) Remove, cool, eat!

Such As These Conclusion: No Greater Love

Being the "Month of Love," I decided to intentionally grow in God's love for children.  As I gleaned out the special moments and lessons throughout the past month, I feel that God was even greater glorified through my life and through our life as a family.  The month has already ended, so I'm going to backtrack through the last few days, highlighting my especially sweet moments with Hana.

Saturday, Day 25:  After an early morning wake up call via Hana, we put a light jacket over her pajamas, made out a quick grocery shopping list, and hopped in the car to grab some donuts and shop.  While I shopped, Hana sat in the cart and ate her powdered donut hole.  She started rubbing her messy face on my arms as I pushed the cart.  Just as I was about to tell her to stop, she looked up at me and said, "Love too, mama."  What a purely sweet and intentionally loving act!  I would sacrifice every single shirt sleeve I have to receive that message from her every single day!!

Sunday, Day 26:  By late afternoon, the sun was out and Josh suggested that we get some ice cream.  We did the easiest, cheapest thing we could think of and went through the McDonald's drive through to get three dollar cones.  I was oddly okay with giving Hana her own cone ... in the car, nonetheless.  But to my surprise, she did really well on her own ... no messes and no food throwing!  My little girl is growing up!

Monday, Day 27:  Hana and I had a laid-back day, coloring, reading and playing with her puzzles.  We just love spending time together.

Tuesday, Day 28:  After story time at the library, Hana and I met my mom at Walmart to shop and visit.  My mom and I both had our separate carts, but Hana took preference to riding in grandma's cart.  Grandma is very special to Hana and I always jokingly say, "Grandma trumps Mommy."  What I didn't realize was that each time we would split up, a look of concern would come across her face and she would ask, "And mama?"  I have to admit, hearing that made me smile.

Wednesday, Day 29:  Wednesdays are typically my husband's day-off, so we use the day to catch up on bills and our projects.  Although he is worn out from work, he always makes an effort to help me get Hana up, changed and fed in the mornings.  Yesterday, he even made breakfast!  As we ate our bacon and toaster waffles, Hana made faces at us from her booster seat, kicking, giggling and squealing from the pure joy of acting silly.

One thing I've realized through my month-long journaling process is that our little girl makes our joy so complete!  From that perspective, I see how she is our extension of love and joy in the same way that we are God's.  It reminds me of Jesus statement in John 15:11-12, where He said, "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

What an amazing God we have who creates parallels of His glory in our everyday lives!  What an intricate and loving way of communication He has with us.  Jesus went further to say in verse 13, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."  If there is anything that I can bestow upon my little girl, I want it to be the message that God desires to know her and love her.  I want her to connect her heart with the act of love that Jesus did for her when He died on the cross.  I pray for her all the time, asking the Lord to speak to her and beckon her into His love.  While my purpose as a parent is to care for my daughters needs, my sole desire is to nurture her heart and guide her into an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.  Thank you Lord for this blessing and commission!

Day 24: Toddler TMI

Courtesy of Rachel Mathew Photography

Last Friday was just an all-around great day.  I feel so blessed on the days when my life is enriched with family time and small accomplishments.  I had just finished cleaning the house and was playing on the living room floor with Hana when my husband came home from work that evening.  He was tired and I didn't feel like cooking so we decided to make good use of an Applebee's gift card we received for Christmas.

We were seated at the booth closest to the bathroom and kitchen, which is not really our ideal place to sit but it's the best seat in the house to Hana.  Like most toddlers, Hana is an unreserved social butterfly and she is always very eager connect to with people everywhere we go.  I love watching the varying reactions from people when Hana innocently breaches their comfort zones.  

As Hana sat in her high chair at the end of our table, she started to notice the traffic of people moving to and fro behind her.  In an attempt to get smiles or reactions, she started yelling at each passerby, "Hey ... hi ... hi!"  Some people would smile and respond, while others gave an almost annoyed side glance and kept walking toward their destination.  While I always want to make sure that Hana is on her best behavior, I also never want to deny her something that is natural and innocent.  I feel out the situation and if she's not being too loud I let her jibber jabber away.

As we ate dinner, she was able to get some short conversations out of old ladies and waitresses, but the patrons at a nearby table seemed put off by her attempts to connect with them.  At one point, Hana twisted around to greet another passerby and somehow squeezed out some trapped gas rather loudly.  Immediately following her string of flatulence, Hana announced, "Ma, I poop!  I poop!"  I could feel the cold stares coming from our neighboring table shooting through me as I painfully held in my rolling laughter.  Again, I never deny her what is natural and innocent ... at least until she's old enough to understand social parameters.

Guilt

I started the week allowing memories of past failures to haunt my heart.  Guilt is such a wretched feeling and can be so destructive to our faith.  However, God allowed it to enter my life this week for the very purpose of furthering His glory in me.  In my search for rest in the Lord, I found myself reading the promise in Romans 8:37-39:

In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It was such a blessing to receive that promise, putting my heart at rest and peace in God's powerful love and redemption.  However, I didn't even understand the full purpose of this verse in the day I read it.  Hours later, God brought it back to my mind and urged me to share it with a young friend who was struggling with fresh wounds of regret and guilt.  

God is so good!  He allowed me to enter a place of guilt for the very purpose of reminding me that we are more than conquerors through Him and that nothing can separate us from His love.  The eternal benefit of this journey is amazing ... He let me become a vessel to carry this message to someone in extreme need of it.  What an honor that we are ambassadors of God's love and salvation! 

Such As These Week 4: The Condensed Version

This past week, I've been an unfaithful blogger ... and I'm blogging about parenting my little girl, nonetheless.  Way to shovel another layer onto the already existent pile of mommy guilt!  I guess I feel a little self-redemption for the fact that my focus has fully shifted to her and my home this week.  In light of that, I'll just give a recap of the week:

Saturday, Day 18:  While my husband was out of town most of the afternoon and evening, Hana and I had our first girl's movie night in.  We played with puzzles and ate cookies while watching Dumbo.

Sunday, Day 19:  Hana got to sit in on her first Breadenfish meeting.  We outlined curriculum goals on our laptops while she played with her Playdough.  She concluded the meeting by throwing numerous wads of Playdough at us ...

Monday, Day 20:  The post-party, post-headcold, post-stomach flu state of our home prompted me to do cleaning.  Always the cheerful helper, Hana assisted in picking up her toys and returning them to her toy baskets, and then she cheerfully dumped them all out.  Upon seeing my reaction, the expression on her face read something like this:  "That was the point of the task, right?"

Tuesday, Day 21:  We went to grandma's house to visit with "mawmaw", "pawpaw" and "Racho."  Hana also adopted a new, fun past-time: dumping oversized stuffed animals onto my mom's toy poodle as he sleeps.

serious bed-head

Wednesday, Day 22:  Hana spent some of the day playing at her cousin's house.  She almost begged me to put her to bed that evening.  As I was changing her diaper, I just started praying for her aloud, asking the Lord to bless her and give her a peaceful sleep.  Right as I was about to close my prayer, Hana says, "Amen."

Thursday, Day 23:  Hana woke up with some serious bed-head and an attitude to match.  She did not want milk!  She did not want a diaper change!  She did not want anything ... so it seemed.  As I sat on the couch flipping through the DVR to find her "show, show mickey," Hana drags a blanket over to me and says, "Mama, cuckle."  She didn't want anything but for me to cuddle her!  I took my independent toddler up on her request and we "cuckled" for a good thirty minutes.

Day 17: The Pitter Patter of Sticky Feet

Friday almost always fills me with an emotional combination of relief and exhaustion.  On one hand, I'm excited for the weekend, spending time as a family and working on our projects.  While on the other hand, I'm almost useless when it comes having fun.  Yesterday, I felt that sense of physical weariness, but my heart also felt weary and worn.  Despite my hard work all week, I still had bills to pay, piles dishes to wash, sticky floors to clean, projects to finish, and an active toddler to keep up with.

Finding a spot of quiet time to myself, I felt my heart needing a Word from the Lord about restoration.  I did a word search in the back of my Bible and read through all the verses that included the words restore and restoration.  Out all of them, this one really stood out to me: "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." (Psalm 51:12 NIV)  

I read in a commentary that the context of David's request is a twofold desire for restoration of the heart and support through the Spirit.  Sometimes a weary heart just needs to have a restored joy in the Lord.  Being a parent can become emotionally exhausting and each parent has different challenges, depending on the factors of their home environment.  But, ultimately, we are divinely appointed to care for, discipline and nurture our children.  For that task, we need constant restoration when we are weary, willingness when we are frustrated, and support when the weight becomes too strong.  

With my heart restored, I decided to stop striving.  I needed that Word to put my strength to the most important task.  I put the bills aside, let the pile of dishes sit, joyfully walked on my sticky floors, put my projects to rest, and chased my active toddler around the house.

Day 15: All The Small Things

Preparing for dinner often becomes the greatest source of drama in our house.  It usually takes this course: my husband gets home, I am making dinner, Hana is hungry, he wants to talk about his day, Hana becomes slightly jealous, and eventually it ends with our hungry, cranky girl having a meltdown in the middle of the kitchen floor.  It's times like this when the little things REALLY do matter.  

My husband is so intuitive and self-sacrificing.  Witnessing this chain of events about to unfold this evening, he scooped Hana up to give her some much needed attention and play time. Before I knew it, he and Hana were sitting at the table playing with her new Playdough, which was a recent birthday gift for her from my cousin.  I'm so thankful for my husband who always  acknowledges the little things and knows when to take time with our little one.

Day 14: Simple Love

The month of February is a very sentimental month for Josh and me.  On February 16th of 2007, we went on our first date.  We had mutual friends in high school, but had been out of touch since my graduation in 2000.  Near the end of 2006, I received a Myspace friend request from Josh and I accepted the request, thinking nothing of it.  Little did I know, it was his first step to getting back in touch with me.  A month passed and he sent me a message asking to hang out with a group of friends.  Looking back on it now, there is such a sweetness to the way he pursued a platonic relationship just so that he could get to know me.  He definitely pulled a fast one though, staging a "group" hang out that turned into a one on one dinner.  

With no expectations, anxiety or preoccupation, I met my friend for dinner, but by the end of the evening we both knew we were meant to be more than friends.  We were married five months later. We spent the first two years as a couple, getting pregnant by surprise in late Spring 2009.  Our little Hana had a March 2010 due date and by the end of January we were hustling to prepare for her arrival, decorating her nursery and hosting the baby shower in our home.  Amidst the busyness, I came down with bronchitis, which quickly turned into pneumonia-like symptoms.  My primary care physician called in antibiotics and an inhaler, and I thought I was on the mend so I continued working and busying myself with preparing for the baby.  

On February 11th of 2010, Josh and I met at the doctor's office for my 36 week check-up and ultrasound during our lunch hours, anticipating Hana's first 4D ultrasound.  I remember feeling fatigued, weak and out of breath due to my respiratory sickness, but I was unaware that my body was seriously dehydrated.  During the ultrasound, the sonographer realized that Hana was sitting in an amniotic sac with no fluid and wasn't receiving any blood through the umbilical cord.  Although we had no way of tracking how long she had been without fluid and blood, the fetal heart monitor picked up a slow but steady heart rate.  I was rushed rushed into an emergency c-section and by God's grace gave birth to Hana that afternoon, who came out quiet but strong.

Hana spent two weeks in the NICU fighting off jaundice and gaining an appetite.  God blessed us with the ability to be present for almost every one of her feedings.  I'll never forget watching her sweet, big, blue eyes when she would look up at me.  For a preemie, she had a strong, serious stare and her seriousness cracked up the nurses.  She was just so little!  She could practically swim in her preemie clothes!  

We spent that Valentine's Day in the hospital with Hana.  While February already carried a sense of nostalgia for us, Hana's birth created a sentiment beyond words.  Overjoyed with thankfulness and love, I kept finding myself reminded of this verse, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us..."  That verse comes out of 1 John 4:10-12 and it reads:

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

We are so blessed to be chosen and loved by God, our Father!  I am so thankful to live inside His love and to be able to extend His love through me.  Josh, Hana and myself complete His love every day by doing the simple things.  Love is only extravagant when it is shown in the simplest and purest of ways.  

Day 13: Thankful

In the days following Hana's birthday party, I have spent some time writing out thank you notes.  I am finding Hana's birthdays and Christmases to be so humbling because our family showers her with gifts and attention.  It is so wonderful to watch her enjoy her new toys and treats, but it is even better to watch people love on her.  It's crazy how when people are loving towards our daughter, Josh and I feel the extension of that love.  It really is humbling and such a blessing to be a part of such joy.

Day 12: The Midnight Watch

Last night, the effects of Hana's cold seemed to be dying down.  She went to bed gladly without crying and quickly fell into a deep sleep.  Then, at around two in the morning, I woke up to hear her whimpering in her crib.  As I was pulling my covers off to go check on her, I heard her begin to gag and choke.  I ran to her crib and realized she was vomiting, so I placed her on her hands and knees in the crib to keep her from aspirating.  When it seemed as though she was done, I started to clean her up and pull the sheets off her bed.  As soon as I had gotten her into a fresh set of pajamas and her bedding changed, I laid her down and the process started all over again within seconds.  That's when I decided to bring her into bed with me so that I could keep a better watch on her.  

Once in our bed, I laid towels underneath her and placed a large bowl near the bed ... just to be fully prepared.  By that time, she had woken up slightly but was ready to go back to sleep.  I laid at a safe distance, caressing her fine hair and rubbing her little, soft back.  She opened her eyes, studying my face for a few seconds, and then began grinning from cheek to cheek.  She pulled herself up to look me face to face, with her button nose about two inches from mine, and she stated, "Mama, I two."  As she held up her thumb and index finger, trying to make a two, I said, "Yes, you're a big girl."  Then, she leaned in to give me a kiss on the lips, rolled over and fell fast asleep.  I am so thankful I brought her to bed with me ... for more reasons than one!