Day 11: Birthday Parties & Runny Noses

Hana's second birthday party was this weekend and our house was plastered with images of Elmo.  From the Elmo birthday cake to the Pin The Nose On The Elmo game, Hana walked through the house as if in some sort of Sesame Street wonderland.  However, her shrill exclamations of pure joy were followed by episodes of little raspy coughs ... less than ideal for a birthday party scenario.  

While we were on the mend and non-contagious, the dragging, left over effects of our virus were evident to everyone around us.  Between Hana's constantly runny nose and my old lady cackle, I can imagine that our loved ones were leery to come too close.  But despite our lingering sickness, everything seemed to run without a hitch.  We had a wonderful time with our family, talking, laughing and catching up.  

Our sincerest gratitude to everyone who traveled and were able to take time out of their Saturday to eat Elmo cake with us!  We feel so blessed to have such caring, supportive and involved people to call our family and friends.

Days 8-10: Duplos & Discipline

As I mentioned in a previous blog, our family has been under the weather lately.  As a result of being sick with Hana, I have witnessed the difference between her toddler immunity and my almost thirty immunity.  I'm turning thirty this year and nothing comes as easily as it did just five years ago.  Let's put it this way, the process of losing ten pounds can be compared to the challenge of climbing the Matterhorn.  Similarly, when I come down with the respiratory flu, it takes a tone of sleep, around the clock doses of cough medicine, and eventually antibiotics to bring me back to life.  

This respiratory flu took Hana down for about three days, while it's taking me almost a week.  She just can't understand why mommy is lying on the couch all day, dropping in and out of consciousness, while she's running around.  She keeps asking me to take her outside or to chase her around the house.  It's been pretty hard on her since I'm her primary playmate during the day.  Within the last couple of days, I have watched her confusion and frustration turn into disobedience and tantrums.  

When talking above a whisper sends me into an exhausting coughing spell, the last thing I want to do is discipline Hana while she is kicking and screaming.  Honestly, my first inclination is to spank her and put her down for a nap ... but that does nothing except make her feel alienated from me.  Discipline is so important, but I feel that sometimes swift discipline fails to address real issues.  

Obviously she is too young to "talk it out", so sometimes I have to tune in to her queues in order to read the context of the issue.  In the case of today, she wanted to run and play with me, but I wasn't feeling up to it.  She responded by screaming and throwing all of her Duplo blocks across the floor in a fit of rage, and she made sure to catch a glimpse in my direction when she was done.  The first thing that came to my mind was, "Spank her."  However, within a split second, I knew that wasn't the solution in this situation.  I sat down next to her and said, "Hana, what a mess.  We don't throw blocks.  Let's clean up."  As I picked up the blocks with her, I could see her frustration dissolve into relief and peacefulness.  

Day 7: Lullaby Baby

After a series of thunderstorms within the past month, Hana has become more aware of the thunderstorm scare factor, whereas she was hardly even effected by it before.  In the past, midnight storm sirens were exciting and interesting.  From what Hana could understand, thunder, lightning and sirens were her ticket to spending an hour in the bathroom raiding the toilet paper and cotton balls.  However, something changed within the last month.  It was almost as if she began to realize fear, as opposed to staring it in the face with a sense of wonder and innocent awe.  

Since her realization of fear, we have encountered many sleepless nights.  Soon after the biggest storm, Hana began having night terrors, which are somewhat typical for toddlers to experience.  In addition to the night terrors, she adopted a fear of the dark.  It seems that the fear of the dark sparked other forms of anxiety.  She will no longer walk into a dark room alone.  "Scared" is a new word in her vocabulary, while it wasn't even an emotion within her understanding just a month ago.

As parents, we found ourselves wanting more than anything to remedy her feelings of anxiety.  One night, in an effort to comfort our scared, half asleep baby, we brought her into bed with us.  We quickly realized co-sleeping should never be introduced to a toddler!  So scrapped that and went for the traditional sleep ritual approach.  It seemed to work somewhat, but she really just seemed to be working on us.  Her sleep ritual became a game time, where she was the one in control of the situation.  

We were becoming desperate for a solution to Hana's sleep anxiety when I realized we were just putting band-aids on the boo-boo!  Hana's issue couldn't be solved with a new nightlight, sleep sounds machine, or favorite stuffed animal!  The route of her anxiety was insecurity.  In the same way that she learned to be afraid of the dark, she could learn to overcome her fear by facing it.  

We have started taking turns lulling Hana into a relaxed, peaceful state by praying for her aloud, scratching her back as she lays in her crib.  She needs that contact, but she also needs to sink into her bed rather than sinking into our arms.  After she's awake but on her way to sleep, I'll say to her, "I'm going to turn go turn on your music. Good night."  As I head into the living room to turn on her iTunes acoustic lullabies album, I'll hear her say, "Mama, night."  She is completely secure knowing that, although we are near, she can handle this on her own.  

Days 5-6: Dirty Cheerios

Recently, I read that two years old is the around the age that empathy enters a toddlers emotions.  Hana's second birthday is around the corner and I am beginning to see the evidence of this theory.  I started feeling flu-like symptoms on Sunday, which became a full blown head cold with body aches, a fever, chills, and a pounding headache by Monday.  I laid on the couch most of the day, sipping on hot tea and falling in and out of sleep.  I was so pathetic that my little toddler even noticed my poor state.  

As I lay deliriously on the couch, I woke up to Hana trying to shove Cheerios in my mouth.  She bent down slightly, just enough to look me in the eyes, and asked, "Mama, kay?"  She was concerned about me!  My little toddler who loves to hit me over the head with toys just to watch my reaction!  She then proceeded to nurse me back to life, feeding me Cheerios one by one.  It took me about a minute to realize I hadn't given her any Cheerios.  Hana had managed to scrounge up a handful of run away cereal in the unswept, dirty corners of our family room and fed them to me ... yummm!  This is a moment when you can honestly say, "It's the thought that counts."  

Despite the dirt infested Cheerios digesting in my stomach, I couldn't help but feel grateful to my little girl.  After all, she was just trying to help.  She could tell I didn't feel good, so she just did what she thought I would have done for her.  Empathy from a two year old is the best kind - so pure and so loving!  

Days 3-4: Mud Puddles

Life caught a hold of me yesterday and today, so let me recap!  Yesterday was such a beautiful day that Hana and I had to spend some time in the great outdoors ... and by that, I mean the backyard.  The only good thing about our backyard is that it's fenced, but other than that it's a desperate landscape.  We do have a swingset ... that a tree fell on last Spring.  But there is a small herb garden ... that I forgot to water during the hottest month last Summer.  However, even if we had the most kid-friendly, landscaped, and fully equipped backyard space, nothing can capture Hana's attention like mud and sticks anyway!  

Usually, I am ready to head inside within about thirty minutes, carrying Hana back into the house kicking and screaming.  Yesterday was different ... I was different.  We played outside without ceasing for almost two hours!  We kicked around a ball for a good twenty minutes.  We hit the yard barn with sticks for about a half an hour.  We decided to jump for a full ten minutes, filling some of the time with yelling at birds.  We went nuts on that backyard!  

After all the running, stick throwing, rock gathering, ball kicking, yelling at birds, and jumping, Hana threw in the towel.  She placed herself by the backyard, telling me, "Ma, inside."  All the activity had worked on her appetite, and Hana was ready for some cheese, crackers and raisins.  As she sat at the table with me, the poor girl was so wiped out she that she had to lay her head on the table while she ate.  Snack time was followed by a long naptime.  Needless to say, we duplicated the whole sequence of events today and daddy got to jump in on the fun!

Day 2: I Spy

Today, I started to acknowledge how addicted I am to technology.  Most of us have a technology addition to some degree, but it usually only makes us feel mildly pathetic.  However, I started to realize that I'm not the only one affected by my phone and computer obsession.  Here's an example:

We started to feel the lunchtime grumbles around eleven, so I fixed Hana and myself a quick meal of quesadillas and canned lentil soup.  As we sat at the table together, Hana started throwing her lentils at the wall, which prompted me scold her and try to coerce her into eating them instead.

Lunchtime conversation can feel really one-sided with a toddler, which usually results with me bringing my laptop to the table to check my Facebook.  It's such a ridiculous cycle and I found myself almost there today.  I brought my phone to the table and was about to text my sister when I looked up and saw Hana watching me.  I know she is too little to pick up on everything, but something told me she was thinking, "Here it comes.  Pretty soon mommy won't be paying attention to me and I'll have to throw all my lentils at the wall to get her back."

That moment carried a lot of conviction for me.  I put the phone away and started playing our version of I Spy with Hana, which consists of me telling Hana, "I see something you don't see and it's a ...."  This is followed by Hana pointing to the object she feels matches the word, and cackling when she gets it right.  I guess lunchtime conversation with a toddler doesn't have to be completely one-sided, I can participate too.